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I have come to believe that our only hope in creating a world of peace and justice, without sexism or other forms of discrimination is to trust, support and follow the leadership of women of color. Since I live on Cape Cod for me this means Wampanoag women in particular. This is because they know 3rd to 4th hand what this looks, feels and acts like in reality, in an actual, real functioning society/culture. For rest of us it is only imagining.
This does not mean that I expect women of color to be perfect. Nor do I think that where they will lead us is into an idyllic past. Rather, by having faith in their leadership, we will journey together into a future that is dynamic, growing and evolving.
White people must demonstrate committment to being allies (click here for information on what it means to be an ally) which includes an understanding of the actions of immigrant ancestors. European settlers, from first contact to the present day, caused great hardship and suffering, particularly with the imposition of a different understanding of ownership and control of land and people. It is time to do something to correct some of these misunderstandings and be an instrument for healing the trauma that was inflicted by the clash of cultures; what Plimoth Plantation describes as "Irreconcilable Differences". A bridge is possible. The key is sharing.
One exciting way is to contribute to Homes for Seven Generations, a program of the Indian Spiritual and Cultural Training Council that is designed to provide the necessary tools for Wampanoag people to protect what is left of their families and their land. (click here for a fuller description of the program.)
Connection to the land is central to native people's spiritual practice, cultural and physical survival. European-ancestry Americans have disrupted this connection in many ways:
Whether we know it or not, every one of us of European descent has benefited from this behavior. Yarmouth Friends Meeting, for example, was started on land that was taken from the Indians using one of the above methods. White people have had 500 years of uninterrupted "affirmative action".
Preserving strong indigenous cultures benefits everyone. We gain the satisfaction of knowing that we are working to put right grievous wrongs, we gain a bonus of self-respect. We gain the potential of friendship and the knowledge that we are living our spiritual faith. We also get exposed to ways of relating that we can use in society as a whole to build a world of peace and justice and help form a web of concerned human beings.
Violence against women is a direct manifestation of sexism. Sexism, racism, anti-environmentalism, homophobia and militarism are perpetuated and rooted in the mentality of domination and power over the "other"; whether the "other" is the environment, people of color or women. This analysis benefits the community by enabling people with diverse backgrounds and interests to come together with a common agenda.
Sexism, is intensified and kept in place by racism and classism. These "isms" train us to oppress each other. Also, by keeping us apart they hide how we are truly powerful. Obviously these have great impact on the relationship between women. First-world women need to make a commitment, take a leading role and actively participate in programs that are designed to eliminate racism within ourselves and our communities. We need to make sure that a substantial number of the leaders of our work on sexism and other specific women's' issues are women of color and/or working class.
Telling women to do specific programs to address issues defined by others has inherent problems. For one, it uses a top-down method of organizing rather than recognize, encourage and support women's inititive and power. We need to trust and encourage the brilliance and energy of all women to define and go for what they need. If they have support, imagine what could be accomplished! We need to have A way to listen to each other and, individually or in small groups, directly share ideas, resources and support.
One of the major factors that keeps us from realizing our potential and power in the world is that we continue to use our energy to criticize each other. Imagine what it would be like if the we decided that attacks and criticism of women would be interrupted. Or that it be mixed with at least six part affirmation for every one part criticism.
Partly because we have been trained to be competitive, partly because of how we have internalized the oppression, it is possible for women to invest all our energy into tearing each other down. This is less then productive. Many of us already have tapes in our heads that tell us that we are going to fail for one reason or another. It might tell us we are stupid, incompetent, weak, helpless, inconsequential, and on and on. The slightest wisp can trigger these messages and leave us feeling hopeless. Instead, as we speak to each other we need to affirm each others brilliance, energy and competence. We must encourage each other to reach for our full potential.
If we treat each other as the sacred people we really are it triggers the manifestation of a light or force that is within us and triggers the manifestation of that light within each other. It is with from this source that we we have the power to impact the world in a sustained way. (Anyone who doesn't feel sexism is one of the most seriously destructive forces in our society might benefit from an experiment.)
Perhaps the single largest contribution to exposing with the issue of violence against women is Clothesline Project which began in October 1990. A book called Lives on the Line a Global Movement to End Violence Against Women details the experience. Basically, Rachel had a vision on an artistic installation with the emotional impact of the Vietnam wall and the pathos, interconnectedness and humanity of the AIDS quilt. It started with a clothesline of thirty-one shirts that hung on poles crisscrossing Hyannis, MA. "Clotheslines" have begun in over 400 other communities from Alaska to Texas to Florida and countries around the globe.
Weaving itself into the process of transforming from victim to survivor to thriver, the Clothesline Project provides a unique opportunity for women to give testament to their personal experience of violence. The burden of shame belong with the perpetrator not with the victim. It needs to go back where it belongs. Women have carried this shame around for too long in silence. Women are asked to send shirts, blouses or tee shirts of durable material with the following color codes: white for women who have died, red, pink or orange for women who have been raped or sexually assaulted, yellow or beige for women who have been battered, blue or green for women survivors of incest or child sexual abuse, purple or lavender for women attacked because they are lesbian. Shirts are hung on a line with other shirts in a massive statement of solidarity. Using the creative impulse within each of us we share and to some extent purge a horrendous experience. These shirts have spirits that were sown into them that in part transcend the strong, beautiful, courageous survivors who are quiet no longer.
As women work through their pain, through the Clothesline Project, they find support with the difficult process of healing and recovery. Each is empowered to dissolve the silence, break the destructive chains of shame and build a renewed cycle of healing, wholeness and love.
When working on the violence against women it is natural to feel the immensity of the pain and horror. However the Clothesline Project is also about healing and celebration. Many of the shirts on the lines are for women who survived. This can be a reason to rejoice. Also these women have a place they can come together and realize they are not alone. We share our strength and love. This is a reason to rejoice. It is a celebration of our survival, celebration of our community, celebration of our individual lives that are making a difference and a celebration of our love; survival, community, life and love.
Violence against women does not exist in isolation. It's been with us since his story has been recorded. On this continent, Europeans brought their attitudes about women into the so called new World. Against women of color, these attitudes were brutal and they persist today. In most indigenous societies rape, battering and incest was unheard of until the European invaders killed and raped millions and millions of indigenous women. Millions and millions of African women were killed and raped during the crossing and in slavery.
All pale skinned people benefit from this system. Although it was the male who predominantly perpetrated the violence, European women were the mothers and nurse maids who trained and sometimes sponsored the exploits of these males. Certainly there were reasons for the collusion. During the burning time women who didn't conform to the patriarchy were hunted, tortured, raped and killed. Nine million women were murdered during this period.
We must understand that sharing power is a win-win situation. The system of privilege benefiting one race and gender is like a neurosis that seeks to avoid pain at any cost. It requires a phenomenal amount of energy to maintain and protect itself. This energy is wasted. Which brings us to a state of reality where not only is women's and people of color's potential wasted but white men's as well. It's time now to acknowledge the past, make amends as possible, forgive ourselves and each other and acknowledge some of the positive contributions that women of color have made to our society. Otherwise we feed the forces of racism that have kept women separate and divided since antebellum.
Imagine what it would be like if the oppression of women did not exist. Imagine what it would be like if the oppression of people of color did not exist. Imagine what it would be like if the oppression of homosexuals, children, working class, men, the disabled did not exist. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone's wisdom, vision and energy had equal authority and power. Everyone of us can foretell our future by looking at what we are doing today. Are you doing whatever you can to make this dream a reality?
Simplicity is a primary strength of the Clothesline Project. It is so simple; women, shirts, line, pins and imagination. We must get beyond the complexity, competition and chaos that we have come to believe is normal life and business for these create conflict and breed violence.
Although violence hangs like a shroud around the globe, our past has shown that radical social change doesn't start with mass movements. It begins with individuals, people like you and you and you and me. We do have the power to release the pure, perfect people we all truly are. We can build a world of justice so that we can live in peace and harmony with all creation.
Economic oppression is the systematic disempowerment and dispiriting of people based upon the amount of money they have available. Such oppression is necessary for the existence and maintenance of the privileges of the owning class. It is a pattern that people use to feel good about themselves by seeing how much better off they are than someone else. It is a component of classism. Yet classism relies more heavily on where you live, where you went to school, how you speak and dress, and most important, where your parents went to school and who were their friends, school mates and business associates.
We know that a vast amount of the world's wealth is concentrated in a few individuals, CEO's and others who control business and industry. However as the following chart (taken from Department of Labor statistics) demonstrates, in the US, federal officials also take a huge portion.
Sometimes these people are called public servants. Isn't it odd that the so-called servants make so much more than the rest of us. A logical question is what do we get for that money. Certainly there are things that we need that our government helps supply such as roads and other infrastructures, schools, fire and police protection and a systematic way of helping those in need. However almost all of those are handled at the local or state level. In what positive ways does the Federal government really impact our lives? What are we getting for such a great sum of money? Is it worth it? What would it be like if most of this money, a substantial sum, was given in our state and local communities instead (not given to Washington and they dole it back to us) ?
We make a lot of assumptions about people based upon their finances, what they have, what they spend and what they can afford to spend. Many think that there is something wrong with poor people. They think that if a person is poor it is only temporary such as students or someone starting a business. If it seems to be a "lifestyle" they are thought to be physically ill, mentally ill or deficient, incompetent, stupid, weak (either morally, ethically or physically), lazy, unresourceful or have been unlucky. People who are poor are seen as less than, not as good as, others. They are seen as in need of help or support yet they are often shunned. Poor people are isolated in particular areas; physically , psychologically and educationally. If they make supreme effort and "prove" themselves to be special/exceptional sometimes they are given special dispensations from moneyed people who determine that they qualify for special treatment, scholarships, grants, etc. However moneyed people are careful not to do this for too many poor people as it would weaken their own privilege.
Even well meaning, socially progressive, groups and businesses who strive to be inclusive with sliding scales can perpetuate the problem. A sliding scale of $100 - $200 dollars for a class, suggested donation to a cause etc. means that a person with a family income of $8,000 per year, if they pay the lowest possible, would be paying 65% of their weekly income. A family earning $40,000 per year, if paying in the middle of the scale would be paying 20% and a family with $80,000, if paying the highest amount would be paying 12%. Add to this the fact that economists say that a flat percentage rate is regressive because $10.00 is worth more to a poor person that a wealthy and you have systematic oppression. Groups that strive to be inclusive also alienate poor people with a variety of other assumptions such as assuming that everyone has the means to get transportation or childcare, pay for materials, make phone calls, get a newspaper, etc.
The consumer mentality also feeds this oppression. To keep classism in place people are urged to buy, buy, buy. People leave their natural state of happiness and think they won't be happy unless or until they have something. It starts as children. We see this in the behavior of the child who sees an advertisement or something that all of their classmates have and bases their emotional well being on acquiring that item. However, if you can't buy, you are not a consumer and therefore do not sustain the system. You are unamerican. Our government, in many of its economic forecasts etc., ties our personal well-being to the well-being of the corporations. And we follow this lead by tying our happiness to our present and/or future gain. Institutions need to protect themselves at the expense of individuals. One example is the banking industry which is economically oppressive as it makes substantial profit when it provides resources and prohibits low income people from having access to the system.
Poor people often see themselves in similar negative ways. Not being able to meet the above expectations makes them feel unworthy or incomplete. Like a lot of forms of oppression, economic oppression is as insidious as it is internalized. Poor people victimize themselves as much or more than they are victimized by the society. In this way, economic oppression doesn't rely on the efforts of the privileged. The have-nots legitimize the position of the privileged by scrabbling to reach that state themselves. This allows the moneyed people to not have to prove that what they have and are doing is morally right and desirable. We have a minimum income but why do few people ever consider a maximum? Everyone seems to want more and more money. If more money is good then less money is bad. What is an appropriate upper limit for a capitalist society, ten million? one hundred million per person? more? One of the ways this is manifest is through gambling. State run legalized gambling is one of the most regressive ways of raising revenue because it lures those who can least afford it. And one in twenty become addicted. America spent $330 billion on legal bets in 1992, $39 billion more that the Department of Defense budget and $130 billion more than the total sales at grocery stores in 1991.
Often people have a job for the sole purpose of making a livelihood. By doing this we give up having a good life in order to have a good living. By envying one group's power we make that power real. It becomes reality. People who work through the internalized oppression and give away all their material possessions usually need to have a convent or other establishment which protects them from the external oppression.
Having defined and examined economic oppression what we can do about it? How can we relearn ways of relating to the material world? Understanding is critical. The reality is that over and over again sociological studies have demonstrated that there is no correlation between wealth and happiness.
Most of us have an understanding of how the oppressions are connected through power and domination and the need of the oppressor to preserve and maintain their privilege and the status quo. A link between certain of the oppressions can also be observed. An obvious example is the link between racism and classism. These oppressions intersect in the aspects that they have in common which include the economic, educational, esthetic, etc. exploitation. Another obvious example is the link between sexism and homophobia. One aspect of where these oppressions intersect is in the misogyny of anything female.
There are also strong connections between economic oppression and sexism. One prime example is how we treat "welfare mothers". Welfare mothers are criticized, called lazy, stupid, cheaters and irresponsible. They are marginalized by a society that feels they have to be controlled and orders them to work, then does not provide day care. Welfare mothers are condemned for have more children yet society continuously threatened a woman's right to choose an abortion. Teenage pregnancy is considered a terrible problem yet it and all these issues are always on the female. Meanwhile society also tells them that women who do not have children and stay home and care for them are unfulfilled and irresponsible. In many divorce cases, working outside the home puts a mother's custody in jeopardy. Most of us realize that many many women are a divorce away from poverty. This discrimination can be seen in who actually is working at minimum wage jobs and who makes a comfortable living and how income is distributed in this culture (all statistics are from the Dept. of Labor for 1990).
In 1990 there were 3,037,900 people in the US who made over a quarter of a million dollars a year. Meanwhile over ten times that amount or about 35,000,000 people made under thirteen thousand. If the wealthy people's income was divided equally between every woman, man and child in the US we would all have an extra $15,145.00 a piece each year and every year. With this extra income no child would have to be hungry or homeless, no woman would have to feel forced to stay in an abusive situation and the hopelessness and despair that many inner city people of color feel would be substantially removed. There are other links as well. Classism links with (for lack of a better term) bodyism (the oppression of people because of their body, especially prejudice against over-weight people; such as the myths of the lazy, sloppy or jolly fat person). This link is especially apparent in the maxim "You can never be too rich or too thin". Bodyism links with ableism which links with ageism with links with sexism (elderly men are distinguished; elderly women scorned). So it looks like this, a chain within a sphere of oppression. It's up to us to figure out how to break the links and dissolve the chain.
Philadelphia, February 28, 1819
Dear Friend:
It has been said by our enemies among the whites, that it is doing us harm to set us free. We cannot, say they, maintain ourselves decently and respectable. Some of them must manage for us. To prove which, they bid us look around and see the many poor distressed objects of our color with which this city abounds, where we have every encouragement to do well for ourselves, overlooking the manner in which most of us have been brought up. Very many, in great families where they live on the best, dress in the finest and most fashionable clothing. Of course they carry these customs into their own families. They work hard, therefore they have money to spend, and must enjoy it in the way they have seen others do. And they are apt, too, to think they have a right to do so, as they have worked for it.
When I was first married I found myself precisely in this way. We had our parties and tea-drinkings; we must have the best wine and the best cake; our friends had it and we must give them the same they gave us, or be considered mean. But when it pleased the Lord to open my eyes, these things became a burden to me. I thought I would assist the poor if I had the means some people had, but I have no more than I want myself; how can I help the poor? Then it occurred to me that Christ lived a self-denying life, and I began to think how I might deny myself, take up the cross and follow him, when dress presented itself to my view. Now a pair of Morocco shoes cost one dollar and 50 cents.: a pair of leather will do just as well, and I shall have 50 cents for the poor. A fine muslin dress costs five dollars: I can buy a very good calico one for three, and have two dollars to spare. I reasoned in this manner till my dress was reduced to the standard which you see. I wore a plain straw bonnet with a white ribbon. The ribbon often soiled and required to be changed. I thought if I wore a plain silk one the strings will last as long as the bonnet, and here will be something saved.
These things were very trifling in themselves, but oh! the peace of mind and the liberty I gained by it more than doubly compensated me for the mortification I at first endured in seeing others who could not afford it so well, better dressed than myself. I could now go to meeting let the weather be as it would, I was not afraid of spoiling my shoes, or any part of my dress. I no longer felt disturbed as to whether my appearance was better than my neighbor or not, and I always had something for the poor.
Now dear friend, if you please, read this in one of your meetings and beg them to try my plan for one year, and I think they cannot fail to be much benefited by it.
Your friend,
Grace Douglass
Racism is prejudice with the power to enforce it.
Racism is prejudice or discrimination based on the belief that race is the primary factor determining human traits and abilities.
Racism holds that genetic or inherited differences produce inherited superiority or inferiority of one race to another.
Institutionalized racism is prejudice supported by institutional power and the authority used to the advantage of one race over the other.
Racism is any attitude, action, or institutional practice backed up by institutional power that subordinates people because of their color. This includes the imposition of one ethnic group's culture in such a way as to withhold respect for, to demean, or to destroy the cultures of other races.
"We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."
Slavery was the most despicable contradiction to this Declaration. The sexism implied is equally deplorable. Although it can be argued that the term "men" referred to both genders, during this time, women couldn't own property. They were not paid for their labor. Although the amount of control varied, before marriage they were basically owned by their fathers and after marriage owned by their husbands.
The movements for civil rights for people of color and equal rights for women intricately mesh. As we seek justice for one group, the injustice experienced by the other piques our conscience. Unfortunately, we bring with us the prejudices of our society. Like crab grass, racism and classism sprout in feminism as does sexism in civil right work.
For example, sometimes we accept sexism in groups where excellent work is being done on racism. Likewise, sometimes we accept racism, especially covertly, in groups that are working to overcome sexism. Colorless (white) women tend to dominate the leadership and set the agenda in groups working on sexism. They fail to realize that women of color's experience and analysis of sexism could be very different. Meanwhile, women of color did (and still do) much of the domestic work for colorless women, especially those of the middle/owning class while they campaigned for equal rights or gained representation in the system, Consider "nanny-gate". This alienates women of color and keeps women divided.
Consider what it would be like if we reverse the conditions pertinent to racism and sexism. What would it be like if colorless women, especially if they were driving a good car, were stopped by policemen, at the same rate as people (especially men) of color? How would colorless women feel if people were afraid of them simply because they were a white woman? Conversely, think what it would be like in this country if Whites kill, rape or beat people of color at the same percentage rate that men kill, rape or beat women. What would it be like if rape of a black person by a white person was not explicitly against the law in certain circumstances and in certain States ?
How we have internalized the oppression also has a sizable impact on work for civil rights and equal rights. It affects not only how we feel about ourselves but also how we treat others in our group. It also impacts how we interact with people who are experiencing the other "ism". This is especially apparent through the intensity and quantity of criticism. The net result is that as we make adverse comments (often publicly) about each other, we divert and deplete our energy and ability to make change.
Oppression is about disrespect. When we don't get respect we become disheartened and feel impotent. If we don't respect ourselves no amount of respect from outside can overcome our feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. It leads to hopelessness. We end up doing the oppressors work. Audre Lorde in "Age, Race, Class and Sex; Women Redefining Difference" states:
"the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. The true focus of revolutionary change in never merely the oppressor situations which we seek to escape, but that piece of the oppressor which is planted deep within each of us, and which knows only the oppressors' tactics, the oppressors' relationships."
It can be useful to reflect on our victories, our defeats and various setbacks and to examine some historic incidents that impact our work today. This gives us perspective on why most feminist groups are predominantly white and middle-class, even as they try to be otherwise.
There are a number of specific active ways that we have found useful to work on racism. Participating in and facilitating eight week study groups have been very helpful.The hidden message is: respect, peace and love-you can't get it if you don't try. Pancetta Peterson and Barbara Steinau have done fantastic creative work in this regard. Some of what has been done at these groups is:
Another exciting approach to dealing with racism on Cape Cod is a group called Cape Codders Against Racism. The following is Cape Codders Against Racism mission statement that was adopted Nov.1990.
"We are a social action group that empowers people to eradicate racism in themselves, in others and in institutions. We undertake this work because racism has a devastating effect on all our lives and is institutionalized in our society. We are a network of individuals and organizations who are committed to identify, confront and eliminate racism on Cape Cod. We provide support, information and training to assist individuals and institutions in unlearning racism. We advocate for the survivors of racism and demand repair of damages done by racism past and present. We celebrate the courage it takes to build for our children a multi-cultural society free of racism's economic, social and political exploitation."
The following letter to the editor of the local paper also describes some of the groups work.
William G, Smith; editor
Cape Cod Times
319 Main St.
Hyannis, MA 02601
January 28, 1994Dear Editor,
At a recent meeting of Cape Codders Against Racism, an African-American man, with severe cuts on his face told us what happened to him during the racist incident at Boxcar Willy's on Jan 18th, in Hyannis. We feel it is imperative that people know that if the assault took place as described with racist terms being uttered, then it is a racially motivated attack regardless of the race of the perpetrators. Also, such a situation is a hate crime and considered to be a felony under Massachusetts law. Just as it is often repressed homosexuals who bash gays and lesbians so internalized oppression can have devastating effects on all oppressed groups. Cape Codders Against Racism is committed to identify, confront and eliminate racism on Cape Cod. Therefore, we demand that our law enforcement personnel take this case seriously, investigate thoroughly and prosecute to the full extent of the law.
We also ask everyone to take to heart Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s statement "the most dangerous people are not the bad ones but the good ones who remain indifferent and passive when meeting with violence and injustice". We urge all Cape Codders to speak up, interrupt and confront racism wherever and whenever you see it. In this way we can create on this spit of land a place of love, peace and spiritual harmony for all.
Rachel Carey-Harper
It can be hard but necessary to deal with our own cultural traumas and the patterns they instilled. We need to acknowledge the fact that we have both oppressors and oppressed in our genealogy. While we certainly had some ancestors who stood up against the oppression (and these we need to celebrate), if we are of European ancestry, we also have been born of some people who acted as oppressors and thieves but possibly also acted as murderers, torturers, slavers and rapists of innocent indigenous people. Even if all our family immigrated recently, we still benefited from the exploitation. We might consider how we have been hurt by this oppression. Also we should learn to acknowledge our ancestors historic role of oppressor and promise that it will never happen again. Denial takes many forms but until we come to grips with the reality of our parentage, we will be living as 'cultural imperialists', living as lies.
Living in the past makes no sense. It's not about guilt, which is a way of avoiding doing something about an issue. After we accept this part of ourselves, we need to make amends. This can be done in many ways. We can support native people who are being oppressed today. We can support native peoples who stand up against injustice (work to free Leonard Peltier). We can re-think how we commemorate Thanksgiving and Columbus days. We can contribute resources to the tribal councils in our area. We can join with native people when we are invited. And we can refrain from participating in disrespectful practices. Once we are at this stage we need to forgive ourselves (which doesnŐt mean we forget or stop making amends) for any distress we or our parents put into the world. We then need to make a commitment to create a world of love, respect and harmony.
For whites working on racism the following exercise can be useful. It can be done on a one to one basis or in front of a group. If it is done in front of the group everyone is expected to think positively about the person who is sharing. Periodically, during the questions, someone asks the participant how they are feeling, what's coming up, etc.
The assumption is made during this exercise that we can discharge our own personal old pain, guilt, (guilt is one of the mechanisms that keep racism in place) anger, etc. around racism through crying, laughing, shaking etc. (all of which are encouraged and not interrupted) and that this is the best way to address the issue in the society.
The overall questions usually include:
Homophobia is the fear and sometimes hatred of people who are sexually attracted to someone of the same gender. Often it is a result of being unwilling to accept that part of oneself. Heterosexism is the belief in the superiority of heterosexuals. In addition to outright discrimination and physical abuse it would have us believe that it is right and proper for only people attracted to the opposite gender to be represented in various aspects of our society such as politics, media, religion, etc. Heterosexism leads us to think only in terms of narrowly defined relationships. Unfortunately, these conditions are very much a part of our culture. Even socially "liberal" groups often have difficulty with these issues. In 1987 this issue was starting to be addressed by Yarmouth Friends meeting. At first thing went very smoothly.
(The following minute, originally prepared by Connecticut Valley Quarterly Meeting, was approved by Yarmouth Preparative Meeting on 29 fifth month 1988. It was presented for consideration and approved eighth month 1988 by Sandwich Monthly Meeting for Business with the language "lesbian and gay men" changed to "homosexuals")
"We affirm that our belief in that of God in every person embraces all persons regardless of sexual orientation; we affirm that we welcome to our meetings for worship and to all occasions for fellowship, attenders who are gay and lesbian; and we affirm that we welcome and encourage full membership in our Meetings for lesbians and gay men who are or wish to remain Friends. We do this without regard to whether such persons choose to speak to any or all of us of their sexual orientation. Further, we commit ourselves to educating ourselves and others in the Religious Society of Friends about the condition of lesbian and gay men in the society that is frequently hostile to them; and we commit ourselves to action to end ignorance and prejudice toward, and discrimination against lesbian and gay men in the Religious Society of Friends and in society at large."
On fifth month 1992 Yarmouth Friends reaffirmed the minute* giving the same care and concern to homosexual couples who wish to marry as we give to heterosexuals. We are led to this position not to coerce individuals into participating in any particular form of marriage. We have come to this from our belief that all discrimination is contrary to the working of the divine spirit within each of us. We affirm our belief that homosexuals are entitled to the same rights and privileges as heterosexuals. We might remember that to Friends the basis of marriage is not a legal concern but the integral spiritual union of two people and that Friends have the tradition of following the leading of the spirit rather than the letter of the law. While we recognize that we can not control the laws of the State we can ensure that our spiritual practice does not reinforce the oppression. We ask that the other meetings of Sandwich Monthly Meeting discuss this matter so that in the future we can achieve a sense of unity in our Monthly Meeting. Further, we recommend that Friends consider the section on marriage in Faith and Practice particularly the introduction on Pages 153 as well as the following quote:
"Oppression in the extreme appears terrible, but oppression in more refined appearances remains to be oppression, and where the smallest degree of it is cherished it grows stronger and more extensive: that labor for a perfect redemption from this spirit of oppression is the great business of the whole family of Christ Jesus in the world"
As time progressed the issue became more intensely debated. Sandwich Monthly Meeting was very reluctant to approve the second minute regarding same gender marriage. Some members of Yarmouth Friends were also voicing discomfort with this issue. Many discussions followed. When things got too difficult the topic was put aside for awhile and then revived. This happened repeatedly until a lesbian couple came forward requesting marriage.
On 4/10/94 after the recommendation from the Clearness committee was read and over three and a half hours of troubling, compassionate, emotionally charged and spiritually mindful and worshipful discussion the following was minuted at the Sandwich Monthly Meeting for Business.
"The report from the clearness committee for marriage for E. A. and M. E. was read. Friends were reminded that it is our task at hand is to be sensitive to the leadings of the Spirit as it is reveled to us here and now. Further the clerk asked everyone to be especially attentive to thinking well of everyone who is gathered today respecting each other as the sacred people we truly are and remember that our charge today is to listen to the Spirit, to open a way for it to be given a voice through us and hear it as it comes through others and find the divine will in the heart of this matter that is beyond our own egos, thoughts and feelings. After lengthy and mindful discussion Friends agreed to lay the request over until a specially called Meeting on May 1st at E. Sandwich at 12:30."
On May 1st 1994, Sandwich Monthly Meeting of Friends gathered in E. Sandwich at a specially called Meeting to consider the request of E. A. and M. E. for marriage under the care of Sandwich Monthly Meeting. 47 people were in attendance. The Clerk read a passage from Roman 14:10-19 and a passage from the Early Prophetic Openings of George Fox; Oceans of Light and Dark. Quoting Gandhi that "we must be the change we want to see in the world" she wished Friends to be mindful that if we want a world of peace, dignity and justice then here today and in all our lives we must be that peace and justice. And if we want a world where everyone recognizes and answers that of God in each other then here today and in all our live that we acknowledge and respect that force within everyone.
The clerk read the notes from the last Meeting. Upon request of the Meeting, she also reread the report of the clearness Committee for E. A. and M. E., as well as letters requesting marriage and parental approval.
After lengthy discussion the Meeting approved the following minute.
"The sense of the Meeting is to proceed with the recommendation of the Clearness Committee to recognize as a marriage within the Society of Friends, the intimate union and spiritual bond that exists between E. A. and M. E.. One Friend voiced sincere disagreement with going forward. Others had difficulty with the use of the word "marriage". We note that this action is taken by us as a spiritual rather than legal concern."
The privilege of being a part of Friends comes in part from being a member in a society that stands for what is true and just. It give each individual a personal sense of rightness. Associated with this privilege is an obligation to be counted for the values that we collectively believe. Without this physical presence we speak words that essentially have no meaning. True and lasting peace and social justice will occur only when we come together with the realization that as one person is oppressed for any reason, we all suffer.
One specific event that needs our participation is the Gay Pride March. We should be present in solidarity with this exercise of self-empowerment. This gives us the opportunity to demonstrate that we understand the devastating effects of homophobia and heterosexism. (If any Friends are unclear or wish more information about this issue we can arrange for the Speakers Bureau from the Cape and Islands Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Issues and Concerns to meet with us.)
One year members of the Gay Pride organizing committee went to clergy around the Cape and learned that many were disturbed by people of militant Christianity at the last Gay Pride Marches. These clergy groups have committed themselves to be at the March and to walk behind a banner that states "Concerned Clergy and Laity for Civil rights". There will be a discussion group afterward. If anyone is qualified to be there Quakers certainly are and one hopes we will show a strong presence (if we choose to, we could have our own banner also). Let's be there for the Gay Pride March and demonstrate that Cape Cod Quakers are truly part of the solution.
Change in inevitable. As few if any of us are capable of accurately predicting the future the only thing that is rational for us to concern ourselves with is what change do we want and what are we personally doing to bring it into being.
(Note: These queries are not a test. Sometimes a question is very meaningful to the person hearing it yet at other times the same question can seem irrelevant or incomplete. In using the queries people should be aware that "standards of conduct do not derive from an outward set of rules but rather from...the examples offered by the spiritual experiences and lives of those who have preceded us and from our own encounters with that inward revelation though which "the way, the truth, and the life" seek expression today". Faith and Practice of New England Yearly Meeting p.211)
